3 Day Potty Training (Update)

Okay, we've had our weekend to relax. We went out for pizza, did the pool, had time away from the house and now, I am ready to potty train Grace. The amended plan had been to do it this weekend. The 4th of July does not appeal to me with small children. There are crows everywhere and I would have just preferred to stay in, but we've had a few invitations and I think we should be social. So this Wednesday, Thursday and Friday we will be potty training!

T-2 days and counting...

PIZZA!!!!

Last night was family date night again with the Millers. The plan had been to celebrate the Miller's closing at Sardella's, then off to the playground so the girls could run off any extra energy they had after an entire day together! The best laid plans... right?

The morning started at Bonnie's house for some water fun with a few of the neighborhood gang. On our way home Grace decided that going to sell more baby stuff with Mommy was not in her plans, so holding tightly to her buddy, Rylan's hand, she continued on past our home to The Miller's. I am told the entire tow hours Grace spent there, the girls did not sit down once. Their new favorite thing is the sand table. They take all the sand from the table and pile it up on the patio. Somewhere along the way someone decided that throwing it in the air and letting it rain down was even more fun... After emptying the remaining sand in the manner the girls were in desperate need of a bath. So, Monica threw them in the tub and I was returned a shiny, happy, two year old. Just in time for a nap!!

After Grace's nap there was just enough time to run to the Ford dealership, pick up my car and make it to the restaurant in time. I am going to say it had been less than 4 hours since Rylan and Grace had seen each other, but when Rylan walked into the restaurant Grace jumped up and down shouting "Rylan's here!! Look it's Rylan!!" So, Pizza, wings, beer and a good time by all. The plan was to stop by the new house check out the new paint and then off to the playground. But a tour turned into a discussion about pavers, and landscape, pools and play structures, and before we knew it we were off to our house to look at the bar and bbq and we never made it to the playground. The girls had fun anyway, between the chalk at Rylan's new house and the chalk at our house, they were set!

Here are the photos from our neighborhood splash party...

From my other blog

A Month...

It has been a long month. Brian had been on the road all but 4 days from June 1st until today. On June 3rd he headed off into the sunset and with the exception of a quick 36 hour trip home, had been gone straight through, weekends and all. Lots of things happened in all that time, but finding time to sit down and put thoughts on paper, or computer rather, was not happening. In a little over three weeks, Grace learned to swim, Lily to walk and 4 new teeth arrived on the scene - two for Lily and two for Grace. Mattresses were swapped and sleeping arrangement made, changed and rearranged. Dear friends bought a house and began the process of moving out of our neighborhood. Potty training plans were made and broken. Looking back it takes my breath away so much has happened, changed and wow... I have been, for the last several weeks, so excited for our big potty training weekend. I bought the book '3 Day Potty Training' and got all the things we would need to facilitate the graduation from diapers to underwear. I thought that 3 days dedicated to 110% focus on Grace would be nice. Brian and I could tag team with Lily and Grace would get some much needed personal time with us. But after the last several weeks of Brian on the road, it seemed more important to have family time all together. Grace needs to go to the pool and show daddy all her new skills. We need to take evening walks to the playground and be out of the house as a family. This is not conducive to the 3 Day Potty Training method. So next weekend, 4th of July weekend, when we will be doing our damnedest to avoid public places and the throngs of people at all costs, we will hunker down, rent a few of Grace's favorite movies and knock this potty training out! I think we should stop and enjoy all the progress the girls have made these last three or four weeks and just celebrate acknowledge all they have done so far before we move on to the next milestone!

Reality set in...

The girls and I loaded into the car today and took the, I don't know, ten minute, drive to Monica, Rylan and Robbie's new home today. As we pulled up in front and parked the car it hit me... "It's real!" This beautiful home bustling with painters belongs to our friends and they are going to be moving in and that's when reality set in. Grace and Rylan have no idea that this is for Monica and me a big deal. Truthfully it should be a bigger deal to them. No more walks to each other's houses, no more chalking it up when one or the other of us goes for mail. All they knew was there was a gigantic yard to chase each other around in, a patio that was a blank slate calling for some of the girls famous chalk art.

So the reality that it is happening set in, but then a great thing happened. As Monica and I talked about all the possibilites for the yard and walked the house filled with painters I saw all the memories that our girls are going to create together. All the sleep-overs they are going to have. The million laps they will swim in the future pool, the skinned knees they will get jumping from the imagined swingset. Lily tagging along on every adventure and it all just became okay. I always knew the rental was temporary. I never pictured our kids there... It's really okay, real, but okay.

What's a Little Competition Between Sisters??

February 1, 2008 ~ 8 months old ~
Grace's first tooth cuts through ~ It's her front, bottom, left side.

.

June 24, 2009 ~ 7 months old ~

Lily's first TWO teeth cut through ~ They are the bottom front two.

.

This girl is bound and determined to do it all before her sister!! Case in point...

.

February 13, 2008 ~ 9 months old ~
Grace starts to edge her way around furniture. Made her way around coffee table.

.
February 17, 2008 ~ 9 months old ~
Grace took her first assisted steps today. Pushed a car/walker across the living room.

.

DONE and DONE!

.

.Lily has already accomplished those things...7 Months Old!

Grace better watch out,
Lily's gunning for her already!

The Great Mommy Swap

This is week two of Monica & Shelbi's Save Our Sanity (S.O.S) campaign. Last week Monica took my girls for 5 hours while I got a manicure and pedicure and much needed child free time. It really put the wind back into my sails and got me ready to make it through another week on my own with the girls. I know how much Brian appreciated Monica looking out for his girls while he is away. Today it was my turn to take Rylan, and what a blast we had. We were outside, inside, upstairs, downstairs. We drew and built and played tag, and in the tent and tunnel. Read stories and laughed a lot. Poor Lily had a rough time of it though. She wanted so badly to be in the mix, but every time she got to where the girls had been, they were off somewhere else. Here are some pictures of the girls adventures. While is was so much fun and I will look forward to having Rylan as much as I will look forward to my turn out of the house and away from the girls, it cemented it for me... With out a doubt, no If's, And's or But's about it... I do not want anymore than the two children I already have - Three is too many for Shelbi!

One by one

It started a little over two months ago, my next door neighbor and confidant moved from her home in our neighborhood into another neighborhood within our little community. It was really hard, Kelli is my East Coast girl. We have a faux Sox -Yanks rivalry going on and are brutally honest with each other. It was rough at first, and the girls and I miss our walks across the driveway in our PJ's to flop down on their living room floor and visit, but they are just a few blocks away, not really all that far. Two minute drive, if that... But like Deja Vu all over again, my other half is moving away too. Monica and I knew we were kindred spirits when she moved here in October. Our daughters are inseparable and go through withdrawals if they do not spend time together daily. They must get that from their mother's - since Monica and I cannot seem to go more than a few hours with out talking. We try to walk daily but if we don't walk, we are on the phone or at each others house.

My friend has been struggling to find her dream home. Every time she fell in love with a house, someone else bought it out from under her. Her frustration was mounting and I could see it was taking a real toll on her. She promised me months ago, they were not leaving our community that she loves it here and could not imagine living anywhere else. Something in my heart told me as soon as she said that "She is not staying." I was right... Monica and her husband signed papers to buy a home in another community this weekend. They found a home they love. New, never lived in, on a good piece of property... They will be very happy there. It's not all that far, maybe a 10 minute drive - But the fact that I have to leave my desert oasis, my little bubble if you will, to get there... It's been a hard pill to swallow. I will get over it, and I am happy for my dear friend and sister, but at the moment I want to cry...

So it seems one by one my friends are leaving. I am having difficulty with this since Brian and I are usually the ones to leave. When were were in Long Beach, and one of our close friends from back in Massachusetts left to move back to New England I was devastated. Butwe still had a great circle of friends. Brian and I have not created that same tight group of friends here (our fault). The two couples that we did spend a lot of time are the ones who moved... I have to keep telling myself this is not the end of the world. In California, Mike and Alissa were on the same property and then only 1 block away before they moved back to New England, but our other friends were in Huntington Beach, Aliso Viejo, Fountain Valley and not in Long Beach. I need to get over the fact that here in Arizona we live in these little closed off communities and get back to the reality of - my friends most likely will not live across the street. Like everywhere else in America, they most likely will live across town - I sill want to throw myself in front of the moving van and have a temper tantrum though!!

Milestones

As I've said....Lily is crawling, pulling herself up on any and everything, edging her way around furniture and just growing and developing by leaps and bounds daily. She out grows things in minutes it seems. She had a pair of newborn shoes that she wore about four times before they no longer fit. Grace's old shoes were too big one month and too small a month later. This week, I once again made hand prints of Grace and foot prints of Lily and I had to specifically state that the feet belonged to Lily, as they look (in print) big enough to belong to Grace! At 7 months old she is so long that she is already in 12 month clothes and at that she is almost too long for them! She is not at all like Grace. She is going to be tall like her father and her poor older sister is going to be short like me. Hopefully not 5'2" short, but not the 5'6 or 7 I am guesstimating Lily to be.

Lily is impressively strong; not only is she able to pull her self up on everything, she can do it from a sitting position, no crawling or kneeling required. She just grabs on with her little hands and pulls. She's lightening quick too! More than once I was standing in front of her bedroom door and she's asleep, then I heard her stir, by the time I got the door open, she is already standing! She has fallen in love with this ability so much that she just wants to stand all the time...She fights so hard at bath time to stand up in the bath chair, the very thing that keeps Grace from drowning her sister every night. She is strong enough to support her self sitting in the tub and if she were in the bath alone, I'd allow it, but she no match for her big sister who is like a typhoon.

I wish Lily could be as proud of what she can do as I am and not get so frustrated at the things she cannot do yet. Yesterday, at the Library, all Lily wanted to do was jump up and run around the story time room with Grace and Rylan. She tried and tried to get away from me and was so frustrated that she was stuck crawling while her big sis and their buddy were off and running. It won't be long though. Lily tests those legs everyday. She has not mastered standing at a piece of furniture with one hand yet, but she gets closer everyday.** Here's her latest accomplishment...

** since I started this draft on Thursday she has mastered standing holding on with only one hand. She has even stood for a few seconds a coupe of time without holding anything... "Look Ma, no hands!!" **

I wish that I could share some video of Grace swimming, but it's not possible to both be in the water and video taper her at the same time. Brian will be back next weekend and we'll get some video of our little mermaid then. She has mastered and spends most of our time in the pool doing the Dead Man's Float. As soon as she discovered this new found ability to float, it's all she wants to do. It's quite funny to see. Before she needs to come up of air, she's got her arms out to the sides and her knees bent, so from the knees down her legs are out of the water, just like a skydiver. It's really very funny. She can swim under water and get a dive ring that I hold between my toes, halfway between the surface and the bottom of the pool. Lily gets quite a kick (ha ha! No pun intended) out of Grace's using Lily's float as a kick board and swimming her around the pool.

I am ''wowed'' daily in the car when Grace sings out the lyrics to a song on the radio. Currently her favorites are Kid Rock and Cyndi Lauper. So, trying to find a more appropriate version of some songs for her, we have the Kidz Bop CD in the car now. Sean Kingston's 'Beautiful Girls' is the new, number one, sings it even when it's not on favorite, with Gwen Stefani's 'Sweet Escape' a close second. I still crack up though when she sings out "...Sippin' whiskey out the bottle, not thinkin' 'bout tomorrow, singin' Sweet Home Alabama, all summer long..."

I hope to have Grace video soon...

Musical beds

I still have not sat down to write my other post. I have it somewhat written in my head, but I have not had a free minute to sit down and attempt eloquence. Thank God for this blog where I can just sort of spew information out and feel like I've documented our lives for future reference.

I did have time however, thanks to Monica's and my new arrangement, to strip crib sheets and change mattresses on Tuesday. Lifting Grace's mattress is like lifting a lead weight. Its a top of the line spring mattress. Great for sleeping not so great to change the sheet on, especially when you are 5'2 (and a half!)! But Lily has not been half the sleeper that Grace was at this age, so I convinced myself it had to be the mattress. After lifting Grace's out of the crib; Resting it sideways across the crib and changing the sheet, I went to Lily's room to remove her mattress, change it's sheet and drag it in to Grace's room for the swap. After lugging Grace's out of the crib I needed a minute before moving it. Once in Lily's room, I was not prepared for the feather lightness of Lily's mattress. When I removed it from the crib, I used way more force than was required and ended up throwing the thing across the room. Still convinced that the plastic and foam mattress is Lily's issue, I further justified the switch in my head that Grace is about to start potty training a week from Friday and it would be better to have an accident on a plastic mattress than on her nice one - Even if the good one does have a mattress pad and waterproof pads on it.

Night one of the switch.
Lily goes down early, 8 o'clock, and stays sound asleep; I go to bed at 10 o'clock. - So far so good! - She continues to sleep soundly until 2 o'clock. Not bad. But I am struggling to keep my eyes open while feeding Lily so, instead of returning Lily to her crib, I lay Lily down on Brian's side of the bed, surround her with pillows and give in before we even have the chance to fight. I simply did not have it in me to put her down, pick her up, rock her again, and start all over. This "dance" has been our normal night time routine for too long. Lily then sleeps until 5 o'clock and now we're up for good. I tell myself I'll do better tomorrow night, baby steps right??? Side note, poor Grace woke a few times and cried out... I am thinking that she is not a fan of the new mattress, but she can sleep anywhere and always has been able to. - She'll be fine.

Night two.
Lily again goes to sleep early, 8:30pm. She sleeps until 12 o'clock, has a bottle and goes right back to sleep in her crib! - YES! ... Wait... What's this?? She's up at 3:45?? Why is she up again? Why won't she sleep?? Uugh... So up, bottle, rocking chair, fight to keep my eyes open, she's out! 4:10am...

-I just don't have it in me! Shelbi, be strong, you do not now, nor forever and ever down the
road want a child in your bed, DO NOT PUT LILY IN THE MASTER BED!
-But, I need sleep... Grace is going to be up soon...
- That's why there's a pack 'n play in the bedroom isn't it??
- Oh yeah...

I lay her down in the Pack 'n Play, the one I have piled high with blankets and a comforter and two fitted quilted sheets... Hold my breath.... don't move a muscle... slowly back away... please don't creak bed when I get in... She's out... Wheew...

"Mommy... - Mom-Meee! - I'm up - Good Morning! - Come get me! - Hey-yo? - Mommy? - Good Morning! - I said Good Morning!"

Look at the clock... 5:15! Good Morning Grace!

New post

I finally have something to write about on my other blog. I have not posted anything in a week! 'Bad Shelbi!' - Aside from having no time to sit down and write, I have had writers block and a lack of topic help from the kiddos. Today, my hero - and best girlfriend is taking the girls for the afternoon. Brian is out of town, he has a nightmare travel schedule this month and with the exception of 36 hours home last weekend (Thank you honey! It was the best surprise ever!) has been gone all month. Of course I must be in the Karmic dog house because I got a bladder infection the day Brian left - but that's off topic here.

Monica and I had already decided that we need to give each other 'Mommy Days' - We would alternate weeks and take each others kids for the afternoon so we could, sleep, clean, get our nails or hair done, whatever our little hearts desired to do, without kids in tow. Today is my turn! 'Yipee!!' I should rest - I probably won't. I haven't had a pedicure in months. I would like to shop but I'll probably just go get lunch and a pedicure and spend a few blissful hours alone. I will with out a doubt make sure I have time to go swim a few laps. I LOVE swimming with my girls, they are fun and Grace is so joyful in the water these days, but the idea of having time to swim on my own... it's just too delicious!!

The topic for my other blog post is '8 hours' - Lily's either resistance or inability to sleep and my theory that it's her crib mattress. Brian thinks I'm insane and that a 7 month old has not had time to build up a snobbish attitude towards mattresses, but maybe she's the 'Princess and the pea'... I will be testing my theory over the next few nights. I already know that a sleeping Lily placed in her crib wakes up screaming within minutes. A sleeping Lily placed in Mommy and Daddy's bed - even with out us in it - stays fast asleep. Last night she slept 8 hours (highly unusual) in the Pack 'n Play that was piled high with 2 quilted fitted sheets, a folded comforter and her fleece blanket on top tucking it all in. I think tonight I will switch out her bottom of the line, hand me down mattress with Grace's top of the line (sorry GeGe!!) and see what happens. It might be a stretch but it's the only topic I have at the moment and my story needs a new chapter.

I'll let you know how my Mommy Day goes, I am so excited! I am equally excited to have Rylan over here next week for the day. Grace is going to be so thrilled! The other night when my bladder infection got so bad I though I needed to go to the hospital I prepared to drop Grace at Monica's for the night. When I did not end up going Grace was devastated that she had to go to sleep in her room and not at Rylan's. They are inseparable - everyday the scream and squeal as if they have not seen each other in years. It makes me so happy to see that my Grace has found her Muffy!!

No time...

Most days I feel so unproductive, but at the same time I am exhausted at the end of the day. My life feels like go-go-go 24/7 - but I am not sure what gets accomplished. At any rate I have not had a free minute to update either of my blogs lately. At this very moment the girls and I are outside enjoying a beautiful morning. Grace and Lily are hanging out in the new tent (sun shade) and playing with blocks and I am enjoying a cup of coffee and a cool breeze. Thought I should get a few things down before the day gets rolling and away from me...

It's been a pretty exciting week though - Lily is standing all the time. She absolutely refuses to sit and stay in any one place. She discovers new things to pull herself up on everyday. Just a few days ago she started with the ottoman. She then quickly graduated to the couch and love seat. After that, the LeapFrog table was a cake walk. Lately she is trying to reach up to the top of the coffee table and entertainment center to stand there. Once she is up on her knees, she can touch the table tops, but cannot seem to get enough leverage to pull herself up. For the second time, I have had to lower the crib mattress, since I find her standing up in her crib more and more. I just think I must say it again - She is going to be walking any day now. She has figured out how to walk around the edges of things once she is standing, pushing a toy is the next step. It's just so amazing to watch! Now - If she would only start sleeping through the night...

Grace figured out how to swim with flippers on this week and she has been in the pool everyday since! Thursday morning she woke up at 4:30 screaming "Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!" when I rushed into her room to see if she was okay - she popped up in bed and announced "I wanna go swimming!" Don't get me wrong, I love the pool and I love the water, but 4:30 in the morning is too early for the pool! We went at 7am though.

Now that she swims and loves it we have to get back to basics. "Grace, you cannot jump into the pool, until either Mommy or Daddy is in the pool AND we know you are going to jump in." She has taken to simply leaping in with out leaping to anyone. Part of me thinks... "Okay, 'baptism by fire' - 'sink or swim' - what better way to learn." But the other part thinks..."This is not safe!" Thank God for Mary! For the last few weeks of this swim session I will have Mary working on nothing but pool safety. I can do the swim instruction part myself, what I need is someone who is not Grace's parent to put the fear of God into her. No matter what - I am so proud of my girls!

Looking ahead, Grace will finish this session of swimming and be done and continue her instruction with me. Lily will then get her turn for a few lessons. She currently loves the water and is fine with bath water all over her head and face, but not so fine when it's pool water. My hope is that she will not need to be with Mary for as long as we've had Grace in lessons. After all I did spend a number of years teaching swimming, I should be able to do it alone. - Then Grace gets to start gymnastics. Part of me always thought, if I had girls, they'd follow in my footsteps and don a pair of ballet slippers. I am just not sure however, that Grace has the temperament for ballet. She would, I think, thrive in a gymnastic setting. She is fearless and loves to climb and tumble. She does have great balance, and boy does she have the compact little body of a gymnast. We'll see...

For now, Grace is calling "Mommy come build with me!" So I'm off... Ahh Sundays, so much for a day of rest - It's a good thing I Love My Job!

So Flippin' Proud!

"I'm gonna stand on a rooftop, climb up a mountaintop Baby, scream and shout I wanna' sing it on the radio, show it on a video Baby, leave no doubt I want the whole world to know just what I’m all about I love to love you out loud" ~Rascal Flats

I cannot stop singing that song in my head! Not since Grace's swim lesson this morning!!! I am proud of my girls everyday. Frustrations aside, lack of sleep, messes, temper tantrums all that aside, I have something to be proud about daily. They are really good, smart, funny, exceptional children and I am so so lucky to be here everyday to see all that they do! Today was just the cherry on top, take my breath away, tears to my eyes, laughing and cheering out loud exciting!

Grace swam today! I know what you are thinking, "yeah, yeah, we've been hearing this for a year now. Ever since Grace started lessons last spring Shelbi says she swims..." Her willingness to float on her back, her willingness to go underwater, her willingness to jump into the pool from the edge are all great things! They have been huge milestones and they are all keys to swimming, but they are not themselves "swimming"

Ahhhh! I cannot even sit still to type this. I want to jump up and down and shout and yell and cheer and if I could still do back flips and front hand springs, I would be! Grace swam today!!!!!

Her swim instructor, Mary the goddess of all things water, put flippers (fins) on Grace today. Mary said that "Grace is so ready to swim, let's give her a little extra push". And she did! Grace swam about 8 feet, underwater, to me and came up with a huge smile on her face and a sense of self pride like I have never seen! She couldn't get enough of it! She swam to me, to Mary, to the wall, to the stairs. She got out of the pool and jumped in to see what that was like with her 'flippers' on... I am so flippin' excited!!!

I will have this child swimming strokes and ready for swim team by age 3! I know that swim team doesn't take 3 year olds, but let me tell you; by the time Grace is old enough to join swim team, watch out!! She comes from a long line of swimmers, and this is one of those rare moments when I wish we were not so far away from family, they be so proud of my little mermaid...

LOOK WHAT I CAN DO!!

3 Day Potty Training (Introduction)

I have not been working on Potty training. I can at least be honest and admit that. Six months ago our Pediatrician said that it was time to introduce the potty to Grace. Yes, that would be the same six months ago when Lily was born. Ha Ha good joke right? New mom of two, and I am supposed to potty train one at the same time I am figuring out how to navigate the waters with two little ones... I say it again "Ha Ha!"

Being the good little doobie that I am I did introduce Grace to the potty. I purchased a seat for upstairs and downstairs, so Grace's little tushie would fit on our toilets. And we talked about it, sat on it and even got the Elmo Potty Time DVD. But Grace acted like sitting on the potty was punishment and that is the last thing that I wanted. She shows several signs of being ready to potty train and has for sometime, but it just has not come together for us. Mostly my fault. Fearful of pushing her and doing psychological damage I have let her lead me instead of the other way around.

Recently I have been hearing moms on TV, at Gymboree and at the grocery store talking about the 3 Day Potty Training method; so I decided to look into it. Turns out, it is exactly what Grace and I need. A mother of 5 boys and part of a large family herself developed this method and has helped parents and little ones succeed at potty training for several years now. Since Grace seems to learn thing very quickly I have no doubt that if I follow this process to the letter she can and will be potty trained in 3 days. But even if we only get 90% trained I will count that as a huge success!

Before I can begin the 3 day training session with Grace I have some preparation to do and I anticipate this taking a few weeks. When Lily came along I started Grace on a very bad habit of having water at bed time, actually having a bottle of water with her to quiet her down and this has become a crutch or security blanket... One that needs to stop. She wakes up with soaked to maximum capacity diapers every morning. Of course she does! What do I expect?? So I first have to break her of this "need" for a bottle then the "need" for a drink at all at bedtime. I am giving myself 2 weeks to complete this. I CAN DO IT!

In the meantime I will be stocking up on big girl underpants and rewards, like Match Box cars. I need to find a few new puzzles and coloring books and building toys to keep us busy over the 3 days. I also need to get one or two new sippy cups, something new and fun to drink from as I will be getting Grace to drink lots of extra fluids over our 3 day 'boot camp'. I am excited!! I actually think this could be a really fun weekend and I am looking forward to it. Brian and I already have the entire weekend planned. (oh, we're doing it on a Friday, Saturday and Sunday so we can both be there 100% of the time to cheer her on) Movies, coloring, painting, building with blocks or Lego's and doing puzzles... all her favorite things.

My goal: For Grace to be Potty Trained by July 1st.
The weekend: June 26, 27, 28

Stay tuned...

Inhale... Deep breath....Exhale (sigh) Here we go...

Okay, Lily is better. She is snorting and snoring again with junk all in her sinuses, but the fever is gone, the fussing is subsiding and life is starting to look a bit more normal. She is still not sleeping great, but some sleep is better than no sleep. Grace seems to be 100% and I am holding my breath that we've seen the end of illness for a while, a long, long, long while!

During this last bout of virus, I have a neighbor that saved my sanity (you know who you are and I owe you! Thanks!) I am very adept at moving through the days and nights with the girls and no help. We have a routine, in our non-routine life if that makes sense; and while we always desperately miss daddy, we are strong independent women and we can do it on our own! But I had not slept, Lily was frighteningly ill, there did not seem to be anything I could do to help her the doctor we saw was an insensitive ass and she was suffering. One message on my machine, an offer of a meal and a kind word brought me back from the brink! I did not even know how close I was to the dam braking and tears flowing until this message... and then it hit me. I am not alone. I have friends here. As hard as it's been moving to what feels like a different universe sometimes. As desperately as I miss my girls in California and Massachusetts, I have support right here. Possibly even more support than I would have had were we still in Long Beach, or somewhere else in Southern California. I made it, we're okay and the women of DT had my back. They offered a hand and the offer was enough. Thank you!

So, Brian made it home on Thursday night and the girls seemed better just having him here. Lily started to turn the corner and Grace was ready for some hard core swimming, playground and get the 'yahoo's' out time! So Thursday night she and I went to the playground and had some quality time and Friday night she and I went to the pool (she is just a fearless and amazing little swimmer) and then the playground. Today we had family time and all went to the pool this evening then the playground. Deep Breath... Reset... Ready for Brian to get back on the road and excited for his day off next Friday and some good family time! The week always seems to go faster when there is something to look forward to.

I did discover something about myself last night... I have turned into that mother... you know the one, the mother who reports children's bad behavior back to their mothers. I did not actually do it, but let me tell you... It took everything I had not to pull my car over, get out and demand to know who and where some kids' parents were. Grace and I were on our way back from the pool and playground last night. We were in the new car, windows down, beautiful evening and listening to '5 little monkeys jumping on the bed' on tape. We were enjoying it so much I wanted to finish the story before pulling into the garage. So, we decided to cruise around our neighborhood before returning home. Children are always playing in the streets of our neighborhood, and I personally find it nice. Not tonight!

As Grace and I got to the bottom of the hill and turned the corner I saw a group of kids in the street. They had the bike ramp out and the bar they use to do skateboard and Rollerblade tricks on. The bar was across the street in the middle of the road, to go around the bar I would both have to navigate around kids who were not interested in moving and I would need to use part of the sidewalk since the equipment was in the street. I have to say this.... Coming from Massachusetts where we had big, big yards and woods and lots of outdoor space to play in, I am sympathetic to the fact that Arizona kids have to play in the streets, there simply is no where else. I was approaching these kids and thinking to myself what a great neighborhood we have that this group has not only friends their age here, but a nice quiet street to play on/in. This was quickly about to change from "how nice" to seething rage... As I crept below 10MPH around these kids one "punk" said "What? Is this a problem for you?" and with some serious attitude! Then another "punk" said "F#$%ing deal with it!" WHAT?!? I was just thinking how nice... I was just feeling sorry that you don't have the places to play that I did as a kid and you just said that shit to me???

I am not kidding, I don't think I've ever want to beat a child before, but I wanted to stop my car, get out and slap these kids around a bit! So, if this is what kids raised in Arizona act like... If this is how they treat and speak to their elders (wait, when did I become an elder???) I want out, and I want out now! If my child ever spoke to an adult like that, especially in a situation like that... I'll tell you this, I'd hope someone would tell me... It'd be the last time my daughter ever did that...

I could kill! (But there is a happy ending)

A little background... here's an excerpt from today's post in my e-journal about last night.

** ...Once home I took Lily's temp again. If she still had a fever and it felt like she did, she would need more Tylenol. 103.1! What??? What is wrong with her?? No wonder she's whimpering, she must feel horrible. More Tylenol, a pinch over the recommended dosage, and I know how dangerous that can be to the liver, but this fever is high! Straight into a cool bath, this time, head wet and a cool cloth on her armpits and groin. After 15 minutes she is shivering, but she feels better and I take her out. Dry, dress, no lotion, I know how gross your skin feels when you have a fever, lotion just did not sound soothing and she was shivering already. Then a bottle and recheck her temp. 102.5... Okay, it's coming down, not a lot, but coming down. Lily relaxes a bit and lays on the floor watching her big sister play. Neither of the girls wanted to go to bed and I did not feel like fighting, so we played on the floor until 9 o'clock. Milk for Grace, another bottle for Lily and she was asleep. Tucked both girls in and.... breath... Poor Lily, hopefully she'll get a good nights sleep and feel better. 1 o'clock in the morning, crying... Not the usual baby chatter that lets me know she's awake and would like something to eat, full-fledged-crying. Sprint to her room to get her before she wakes her big sister, and I touch fire! She is burning my hands right through the onesie she is sleeping in. So quick to the bathroom, strip her down and check her temperature. 103. 3!!! Oh my God! Okay, focus...Tylenol, luke warm bath, cool her down and sooth her. We both get into the tub and the poor girls is just whimpering. After about 15 minutes the water is too cool and she is shivering again, so we get out of the tub and I fill the sink with cold water and a few wash clothes. I try to cool her down more with cool cloths on her head, under her arms and on her neck. Almost 2 o'clock, she still feels so hot... Pack her up, get Grace in the car and drive to the Pediatric Urgent Care??? Are they going to tell me it's just a virus and to keep her on Tylenol? Will I have dragged both girls out in the middle of the night for nothing? ...Stay?... Go?... Wait?... I wait... Let's try a bottle and the rocking chair. No clothes, just a diaper. Let's try skin to skin... Almost 3 o'clock in the morning... She's not sleeping, not eating and still feels so hot.... What do I do? What do I do? Check her temperature again, see if there has been any change, then decide.... 102.1... Check again, just to be sure the thermometer is working properly.... 102.2.... Hmm??? I know it's only a tenth of a degree, but it was different, try again. Poor thing, she's not feeling well and I am taking her rectal temp over and over and over, that cannot be fun.... 102.2.... Okay, so it's down more than a degree. Something must be working, let's keep rocking a bit longer and see. 3:30am... she's asleep. Lay her in bed next to me and that way I am right here if anything changes. She sleeps until almost 4:30am. She still feels so hot, but not worse than before. Fix another bottle, fluids right? With a body temp so hot I should be pushing fluids... right?? Back to the rocking chair, another bottle. Should we go? It's 7:30am on the east coast, should I call one of the grandparents and ask them what to do? And... she's asleep again. Okay, lay her back in my bed and see what happens. 5:40am I am drenched...why is it so wet? Lily is sweating all over me, she's soaked and she's soaking me. Sweat, that's a good thing? You don't sweat when you have a fever, you sweat when it breaks... right?? Okay get her out of the puddle she's creating and dry her off a bit. She's still sound asleep. Poor thing must be exhausted. Into the pack 'n play and close my eyes for a few minutes before Grace is up. We made it! 8 o'clock, Lily is up and feels a bit less like fire. Her temperature is 101.7. Okay, that's progress. More Tylenol and see if she'll take a bottle. Crap!! Grace has a swim lesson... Go?... Don't go?.... Wow! This is the theme of the last 24 hours isn't it? ... **

This afternoon Lily's fever returned. What's that rule about fevers being better in the morning and getting worse through out the day?? Well stupid rule! But it's true. I broke down at 3 o'clock and decided I had to at least call my doctor's office. When they said come in and when they offered the only appointment they had, 4:20pm. I should have said No. I should have just gone to the Pediatric Urgent Care or even the ER, but I was on the phone with my doctors office and went in to see a doctor that I know I hate! Stupid, stupid me!

There are only two doctors I like and respect at the girls' pediatric group. Dr. "Crazy" is not one of them. He's rude, his bedside manner is horrible and he scares the girls with some crazy Donald Duck quacking... He spent, no exaggeration, 67 seconds with Lily. Saw her throat was red, did not care to hear about her last 24 hours. Said, "Her throat is red and raw but she is already on antibiotics... it is probably a virus that seems to be going around. Turn on the ceiling fan in her room, dress her in light, airy, cotton clothes and treat with fluids." Then turned and walked out the door. What the F*%&$!!!!

No real exam, no time, no questions, nothing... I hate the torturous exams that the hospital does, but at least they do an exam... So my hour drive, round trip... and $20.00 got me "It's probably a virus" This by the way, was the diagnosis that I made last night with out a medical degree. I am so mad I could spit. If he said virus after, at minimum, a five minute exam I might be inclined to let it go, but now I have to sit up all night with my poor child and send negative energy out in to the universe and hope it hits him right between the eyes!

The happy ending... My little Tiger Lily pulled herself up to a standing position ALL BY HERSELF today. I was fixing Grace her breakfast and Grace was in the high chair and Lily was crawling around the living room when, Grace started laughing. "Lily stand up funny!!" I said to Grace, "You want Lily to what?" to which she replied through giggles, "Lily dancing!" I look into the living room and sure enough Lily has crawled up to her bouncy chair and is standing up holding onto it. I have pictures, but it's been a long and exhausting 24 hours. I will post them tomorrow. My girls, they are a wonder!!