Inhale... Deep breath....Exhale (sigh) Here we go...

Okay, Lily is better. She is snorting and snoring again with junk all in her sinuses, but the fever is gone, the fussing is subsiding and life is starting to look a bit more normal. She is still not sleeping great, but some sleep is better than no sleep. Grace seems to be 100% and I am holding my breath that we've seen the end of illness for a while, a long, long, long while!

During this last bout of virus, I have a neighbor that saved my sanity (you know who you are and I owe you! Thanks!) I am very adept at moving through the days and nights with the girls and no help. We have a routine, in our non-routine life if that makes sense; and while we always desperately miss daddy, we are strong independent women and we can do it on our own! But I had not slept, Lily was frighteningly ill, there did not seem to be anything I could do to help her the doctor we saw was an insensitive ass and she was suffering. One message on my machine, an offer of a meal and a kind word brought me back from the brink! I did not even know how close I was to the dam braking and tears flowing until this message... and then it hit me. I am not alone. I have friends here. As hard as it's been moving to what feels like a different universe sometimes. As desperately as I miss my girls in California and Massachusetts, I have support right here. Possibly even more support than I would have had were we still in Long Beach, or somewhere else in Southern California. I made it, we're okay and the women of DT had my back. They offered a hand and the offer was enough. Thank you!

So, Brian made it home on Thursday night and the girls seemed better just having him here. Lily started to turn the corner and Grace was ready for some hard core swimming, playground and get the 'yahoo's' out time! So Thursday night she and I went to the playground and had some quality time and Friday night she and I went to the pool (she is just a fearless and amazing little swimmer) and then the playground. Today we had family time and all went to the pool this evening then the playground. Deep Breath... Reset... Ready for Brian to get back on the road and excited for his day off next Friday and some good family time! The week always seems to go faster when there is something to look forward to.

I did discover something about myself last night... I have turned into that mother... you know the one, the mother who reports children's bad behavior back to their mothers. I did not actually do it, but let me tell you... It took everything I had not to pull my car over, get out and demand to know who and where some kids' parents were. Grace and I were on our way back from the pool and playground last night. We were in the new car, windows down, beautiful evening and listening to '5 little monkeys jumping on the bed' on tape. We were enjoying it so much I wanted to finish the story before pulling into the garage. So, we decided to cruise around our neighborhood before returning home. Children are always playing in the streets of our neighborhood, and I personally find it nice. Not tonight!

As Grace and I got to the bottom of the hill and turned the corner I saw a group of kids in the street. They had the bike ramp out and the bar they use to do skateboard and Rollerblade tricks on. The bar was across the street in the middle of the road, to go around the bar I would both have to navigate around kids who were not interested in moving and I would need to use part of the sidewalk since the equipment was in the street. I have to say this.... Coming from Massachusetts where we had big, big yards and woods and lots of outdoor space to play in, I am sympathetic to the fact that Arizona kids have to play in the streets, there simply is no where else. I was approaching these kids and thinking to myself what a great neighborhood we have that this group has not only friends their age here, but a nice quiet street to play on/in. This was quickly about to change from "how nice" to seething rage... As I crept below 10MPH around these kids one "punk" said "What? Is this a problem for you?" and with some serious attitude! Then another "punk" said "F#$%ing deal with it!" WHAT?!? I was just thinking how nice... I was just feeling sorry that you don't have the places to play that I did as a kid and you just said that shit to me???

I am not kidding, I don't think I've ever want to beat a child before, but I wanted to stop my car, get out and slap these kids around a bit! So, if this is what kids raised in Arizona act like... If this is how they treat and speak to their elders (wait, when did I become an elder???) I want out, and I want out now! If my child ever spoke to an adult like that, especially in a situation like that... I'll tell you this, I'd hope someone would tell me... It'd be the last time my daughter ever did that...