I could kill! (But there is a happy ending)

A little background... here's an excerpt from today's post in my e-journal about last night.

** ...Once home I took Lily's temp again. If she still had a fever and it felt like she did, she would need more Tylenol. 103.1! What??? What is wrong with her?? No wonder she's whimpering, she must feel horrible. More Tylenol, a pinch over the recommended dosage, and I know how dangerous that can be to the liver, but this fever is high! Straight into a cool bath, this time, head wet and a cool cloth on her armpits and groin. After 15 minutes she is shivering, but she feels better and I take her out. Dry, dress, no lotion, I know how gross your skin feels when you have a fever, lotion just did not sound soothing and she was shivering already. Then a bottle and recheck her temp. 102.5... Okay, it's coming down, not a lot, but coming down. Lily relaxes a bit and lays on the floor watching her big sister play. Neither of the girls wanted to go to bed and I did not feel like fighting, so we played on the floor until 9 o'clock. Milk for Grace, another bottle for Lily and she was asleep. Tucked both girls in and.... breath... Poor Lily, hopefully she'll get a good nights sleep and feel better. 1 o'clock in the morning, crying... Not the usual baby chatter that lets me know she's awake and would like something to eat, full-fledged-crying. Sprint to her room to get her before she wakes her big sister, and I touch fire! She is burning my hands right through the onesie she is sleeping in. So quick to the bathroom, strip her down and check her temperature. 103. 3!!! Oh my God! Okay, focus...Tylenol, luke warm bath, cool her down and sooth her. We both get into the tub and the poor girls is just whimpering. After about 15 minutes the water is too cool and she is shivering again, so we get out of the tub and I fill the sink with cold water and a few wash clothes. I try to cool her down more with cool cloths on her head, under her arms and on her neck. Almost 2 o'clock, she still feels so hot... Pack her up, get Grace in the car and drive to the Pediatric Urgent Care??? Are they going to tell me it's just a virus and to keep her on Tylenol? Will I have dragged both girls out in the middle of the night for nothing? ...Stay?... Go?... Wait?... I wait... Let's try a bottle and the rocking chair. No clothes, just a diaper. Let's try skin to skin... Almost 3 o'clock in the morning... She's not sleeping, not eating and still feels so hot.... What do I do? What do I do? Check her temperature again, see if there has been any change, then decide.... 102.1... Check again, just to be sure the thermometer is working properly.... 102.2.... Hmm??? I know it's only a tenth of a degree, but it was different, try again. Poor thing, she's not feeling well and I am taking her rectal temp over and over and over, that cannot be fun.... 102.2.... Okay, so it's down more than a degree. Something must be working, let's keep rocking a bit longer and see. 3:30am... she's asleep. Lay her in bed next to me and that way I am right here if anything changes. She sleeps until almost 4:30am. She still feels so hot, but not worse than before. Fix another bottle, fluids right? With a body temp so hot I should be pushing fluids... right?? Back to the rocking chair, another bottle. Should we go? It's 7:30am on the east coast, should I call one of the grandparents and ask them what to do? And... she's asleep again. Okay, lay her back in my bed and see what happens. 5:40am I am drenched...why is it so wet? Lily is sweating all over me, she's soaked and she's soaking me. Sweat, that's a good thing? You don't sweat when you have a fever, you sweat when it breaks... right?? Okay get her out of the puddle she's creating and dry her off a bit. She's still sound asleep. Poor thing must be exhausted. Into the pack 'n play and close my eyes for a few minutes before Grace is up. We made it! 8 o'clock, Lily is up and feels a bit less like fire. Her temperature is 101.7. Okay, that's progress. More Tylenol and see if she'll take a bottle. Crap!! Grace has a swim lesson... Go?... Don't go?.... Wow! This is the theme of the last 24 hours isn't it? ... **

This afternoon Lily's fever returned. What's that rule about fevers being better in the morning and getting worse through out the day?? Well stupid rule! But it's true. I broke down at 3 o'clock and decided I had to at least call my doctor's office. When they said come in and when they offered the only appointment they had, 4:20pm. I should have said No. I should have just gone to the Pediatric Urgent Care or even the ER, but I was on the phone with my doctors office and went in to see a doctor that I know I hate! Stupid, stupid me!

There are only two doctors I like and respect at the girls' pediatric group. Dr. "Crazy" is not one of them. He's rude, his bedside manner is horrible and he scares the girls with some crazy Donald Duck quacking... He spent, no exaggeration, 67 seconds with Lily. Saw her throat was red, did not care to hear about her last 24 hours. Said, "Her throat is red and raw but she is already on antibiotics... it is probably a virus that seems to be going around. Turn on the ceiling fan in her room, dress her in light, airy, cotton clothes and treat with fluids." Then turned and walked out the door. What the F*%&$!!!!

No real exam, no time, no questions, nothing... I hate the torturous exams that the hospital does, but at least they do an exam... So my hour drive, round trip... and $20.00 got me "It's probably a virus" This by the way, was the diagnosis that I made last night with out a medical degree. I am so mad I could spit. If he said virus after, at minimum, a five minute exam I might be inclined to let it go, but now I have to sit up all night with my poor child and send negative energy out in to the universe and hope it hits him right between the eyes!

The happy ending... My little Tiger Lily pulled herself up to a standing position ALL BY HERSELF today. I was fixing Grace her breakfast and Grace was in the high chair and Lily was crawling around the living room when, Grace started laughing. "Lily stand up funny!!" I said to Grace, "You want Lily to what?" to which she replied through giggles, "Lily dancing!" I look into the living room and sure enough Lily has crawled up to her bouncy chair and is standing up holding onto it. I have pictures, but it's been a long and exhausting 24 hours. I will post them tomorrow. My girls, they are a wonder!!