Threats of violence.

I had a minor meltdown on Friday.  {If you follow my other blog, you've already read all about it.} It was no big deal, it just caught me and a few of my nearest and dearest by surprise.  The outpouring of support from my girlfriends has been so truly touching. I know that in a jam I have people I can turn to, to watch the girls for an hour or two. I know that when the babysitter is unavailable and Hurl and I really need a few hours to ourselves I have friends who will rise to the occasion and insist that they watch the girls.  I never feel like I don't have options in a jam...

Truth-be-told my meltdown came as a reaction to feeling like no one "gets it".  In the end, no one really does get how hard it is to be home with my girls, with my husband on the road more than he's home except for my husband. And the reason no one else "gets it" is because {1} Everyone I know has a husband who comes home from work every night and the few who have husbands who travel for work only have to manage alone 1 maybe 2 weeks a year. And {2} I never say - "It's hard!!" - I never tell anyone  "It's lonely, awful, frustrating, draining, depressing at times." I never say any of that because frankly who wants to hear it? What my mini-meltdown really boils down to is this; It's not that I want to go for a run, hike, or swim without the kids. It's not that I want to go grocery shopping alone or get a pedicure or massage. It's not even that I am so frustrated or tired that I am at the end of my rope with the girls - I'm not. It's just that I want the option to go... I want to have the option to go for a run at 6pm because my husband's home from work and can watch the kids. I want the option to go for a sunrise hike because my husband is home and can hold down the fort and get himself ready for work while I'm out - But my husband doesn't come home from work all week most weeks. I just wanted someone to understand ...  But how could they? So hearing about "husband frustrations", and "relaxing mommy time" just got the best of me.  So I just had to yell... "I don't have any help! I don't have alone time... MY husband doesn't come home every night!!!!" And then it was out of my system..........

Yesterday, after hearing about my breakdown, I recieved a phone call from my friend Grace who said and I quote. "If you don't call the babysitter for Wednesday night, or leave the girls with me and go out I'm gonna' come over there and KICK YOUR ASS!" We talked it out and I tried to explain it was just one straw that broke this camel's back, but since I'd blown off some steam I was much better. She continued her threats of violence. {I'm starting to feel like her preference would be to kick my ass!!}

So this morning when Grace called to shore up what we were going to do with this kids today and at what time, I explained that we were just on our way to the store for milk and peanut butter - I didn't want to run out while stuck at home babysitting all week -  and I'd be back in 30 minutes and we could go then. She again insisted {and I believe threatened -- tee hee} that I leave the girls with her while I ran to the store. I happily obliged. The girls had {as always} the best time with Vincent. They didn't want to leave when it came time to go, even though we were all going to the pool and playground together.  Those girls flat out adore Vincent and I think he likes having playmates that are as rough and tumble as he is. And Lily Kat.... Well she shows no mercy. She wrestles poor Vincent to the ground and either sits on him or tickle tortures him.  It's too darn funny to watch!

The kids swam like fish, all three of them! And played on the playgrounds slide in every manner you could possibly think of after they swam. They were just like the Three Musketeers. "All for one and one big free-for-all".  No, seriously, Grace climbed up the slide, Vincent and Lily followed. Vincent went back down the slide face first, Grace and Lily followed in the exact same manner. They went up one side and down the other, went one at a time, tried to go three at a time, took turns climbed over each other, you name it.  It was just a blast to watch and clearly a blast for the kids.

Grace, the oldest and the bossy one controlled the snacks and rationed them out as she saw fit, regardless of what I said about how to share. Lily was the bruiser and Vincent was the one just happy to go along for the ride.  The entire mood of this house changed today after our morning with Grace, Keith and Vincent. Everyone was a little nicer to each other. The girls took great naps and we played in the backyard until it was dark.  We painted and made music and just really enjoyed being together today.  This Sunday morning was exactly what the doctor ordered.  Especially for a mom who's heard nothing but "I don't want you! I want Daddy!!" for days...... I did not hear that once today!

Today was a good day!