Happy Birthday Grace (Part 2)

This morning we sang 'Happy Birthday' to Grace when she woke up and she has been singing it to herself all day. That's my girl! I was lucky to have parents who made a very big deal out of our birthdays. My father always made a giant banner from a white bed sheet saying Happy Birthday Shelbi, Rory or Sean, or something about it being our birthday and hung it from the second story windows of our house. To this day, I still take the entire month of October as my birthday. I love my birthday. It's my day! It's about me and well, that's an awesome day in my book! So I was greatly pleased that Grace at the tender age of 2 was taking such pleasure in her day! To be honest in addition to all the obvious reasons, after the 3 days chained to a bed going through the ordeal of trying to have my little angel, I LOVE her birthday. (I LOVE Lily's too, but we haven't celebrated one yet) So I plan to make a very big deal out of my girls' days.

This afternoon the girls had their 2 year and 6 month well child checks. I was bummed that this was going to happen on Grace's birthday. Not because we had big plans that this was going to cut into, but the thought of Grace getting shots on her birthday saddened me. I was pleased to find out that Lily would be the only one getting shots today and that Grace does not need any more immunizations until before she starts Kindergarten.

As we sat in the exam room waiting for Dr. Magalnick, Grace and I discussed what was going to happen. We talked about saying 'Hello Doctor Magalnick' when he walked into the room. We talked about how he was going to listen to her chest, tummy and back with the stethoscope. Look in her hears and shine a light in her eyes. We talked about how we 'like' Dr. Magalnick and how we need to speak up and answer his questions and that he is nice etc... So when Dr. Magalnick entered the room Grace sang out "Doctor Doctor!" Dr. Magalnick said "Hello Grace" and she replied "Hey-yo Doctor! iss my Birfhday!" He wished her a very happy birthday and gave her a hi-five. He then he informed me (laughingly) that I have total opposite ends of the spectrum. "On the one hand you (I) have a little gymnast and on the other Brunhilda the Roller Derby Queen!" I did not take offense as I adore Dr Magalnick and he said it in all kindness and jokingly. Grace is 15th percentile for her height and 7th percentile for weight. She is, as we've always said 'a peanut'. Lily on the other hand is 97th percentile for height and 50th percentile for weight. She is not a "big" baby, she is average, she is just a bigger baby than Grace. Today Grace weighed in at 23 pounds is 33 inches tall. Lily weighed in at 15.5 pounds and is 27 inches tall. Both healthy beautiful girls according to the doctor. Lily is hitting her milestones on time and Grace is, (the grandparents will be pleased to know) according to the doctor, of 'above average intelligence'. See, we knew it all along! It helped that Grace was in a talking mood and a performing mood, both carrying on a conversation with the Doctor with out any prompting from me, and singing her ABC's; but also counting her toes for him and telling him that she is '2'. When she was unable to hold up just two fingers she pointed to the 2 she wanted to show him and said '1-2'!

It was also brought to my attention, that while I am doing a million things right as a mom. (always nice to hear) While have been successfully nurturing her natural curiosity and helping her achieve her learning potential. (yay!) That allowing her to make her own smoothie in the morning and helping bake cup cakes; getting her to pick up after herself; painting, drawing and otherwise being creative; Helping with the laundry and in the care of Lily are all great things! Her being so smart has put me in a tough position parenting wise. Grace and I are in a power struggle and while I have been aware of this for some time, I did not know it was so obvious to others. Grace is a great manipulator. Something that I may have had the time and or energy to nip in the bud if I were not juggling two kids and trying to give Lily all the same attention and opportunities that Grace got. Grace wins more than I win. While I do pick and choose my battles I need to be sure when I pick a battle I have the time and energy to win it. That is Grace wins the battle I will have lost the war. It's a bit hard for me to think of parenting as a "war" that seems so unhappy, but I know in my heart that Magalnick is right... So I think that I am going to have to being the "Token system" of parenting. This is how I was raised and I know that it works, but it's not how I wanted to parent. Everything fun is going to be a privilege and not a given. Grace is going to have to earn things. I have to make a chart and she is going to get stickers or magnets or something when she is good, listens, kind to Lily, etc... and she can "earn" TV time, or pool time or playground time... Wish me luck, I wish there was another way...

So the last part of my GeGe's birthday will be Saturday. She is having a birthday party and I cannot wait!!

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!